Shoes (spoken word)

A month ago I turned twenty-two. But today I graduated college, the first in my family to do so. So I put on a dress like my mother told me to and I curled my hair like I thought I was supposed to and I put on makeup like I thought maybe I should do. But a month ago when I turned twenty-two, My parents, they also heard me tell them how in love I was, a bit out of the blue, but the only problem it seemed is that it was with you. I told them so soon because I thought that I could leap from the branch, soar through the air, and even with the prospect of rain and hail, it would still be better than standing on the branch watching you. So a month later, I put on a dress like my mother told me to and I curled my hair like I thought I was supposed to and I put on makeup like I thought maybe I should do. But, you know that the thing I remember most about that day isn't the dress or the hair or the makeup, but the shoes. You see she got me these shoes. Somehow she knew that I wasn’t sure if I could fill them, but they filled me with a feeling of agency that I had never experience while waiting on that branch.

She knew that I had wanted these shoes and I know it sounds silly, but I was afraid to wear them because I thought people would think I was gay. But the great irony is that I was very very gay. So these shoes, whatever they say, I hope that they tell you that I'm gay. Because walking down main street in Richmond Kentucky with shoes on your feet that you think scream that you are gay is no easy task and if it wasn't for the soft touch of your hand on the small of my back I wouldn't have taken that step from the porch; I would have never have been able to leap from the soft safety of our little nest. Because I know to you those are just shoes but to me they are agency and freedom and pure flight. These shoes can burden the rain and sleet and snow like my fragile wings can't. They tell me something that dresses and curls and makeup never could and it's that I don't need them to be myself. They tell me who I already am, Like the leather was stamped on my soul, Like the laces stitched my heart back together, like they weather the elements like I never could. So please, my dear, let's walk down main streets, splash in puddles, weather the storms, and scream to the world, even if just with some shoes, how big my love is for you.